Tuesday, December 15, 2015

To My 2 Year Old

Dear Evans,

The letter I wrote to you last year on your first birthday came so naturally.  A time when I was still in a bit of an anxiety filled Mommy phase of life, and a time when you were just beginning to discover the world outside of Mommy's lap. This year, the words haven't come quite as easily. Not because I have nothing to tell you, but rather I'm not quite sure where to begin. You see, in the last year, you've gone from a baby, testing both your independence and your walking shoes, to a talking two year old, testing your Mommy and Daddy, and filled with personality. 

Evans- 12 months 
Evans 2 years 

You love to sing (and do so at the top of your lungs often, and in public), tell people hi and bye bye, "read" your books aloud, care for your baby dolls, and spend time with Mommy and Daddy. I can't believe how much you've learned, especially in the last 6 months. Seems like last week you were doing raspberries and cooing, and yet today you can sing your ABC's all the way through, your conversation skills are really blossoming, and you have such a sense of humor. Most nights I'm terrified to let you fall asleep, afraid of just how old you'll be in the morning. Afraid that one day I'll open your bedroom door like so many times before, except that this time you'll be a teenager, sleeping in again, and I'll wonder where that little girl and her Minnie Mouse have gone. 

You are still a mama's girl, but in the last year you've developed a much closer bond with Daddy, too. You are beginning to see just how special that guy is, and watching the two of you interact together (especially when you want to brush his hair and comb his beard beauty shop style) makes me whole. 
Daddy has taught you how to watch football and yell "YAY TOUCHDOWN!" with your hands over your head. He's trying his best to convert you to be a Tiger, so it tickles me when you yell "GO GAMECOCKS DADDY!". You'll probably grow up one very confused child. Likely the joke will be on us when you bring home that first boyfriend that makes you want to be a Georgia fan. We'll deal with that obstacle when we get there. 

Little Mae Caroline will be here before we know it. I pray for y'alls relationship already. I'm so excited to see you as the big sister, and yet it also makes me sad to think I'll have to share any of my mommy time with someone else. I pray that you will never feel ignored or set aside. You are forever my first born. You promoted me from Ashley to Mommy. You initiated me into the club called parenthood, and I can't think of a better place to be a member. 

"Hold hands, Mommy!" and "My up, Mommy!" are regular occurrences these days. You are going through a bit of a clingy phase which has made it somewhat difficult for Mommy. I'm carrying your little sister that also needs "hold hands" and "my up" right now. You don't understand that I'm pregnant and can't do all the things I normally could. At this point, picking you up and carrying you around is a much more difficult task, but that doesn't make you long for it any less. When it really comes down to it, I'm OK with that. I realize there will be a day you won't need to hold my hand. You won't need to run to me, big eyed and grinning, when I pick you up from school. You won't want me to go with you everywhere. You may even ask me to drop you off rather than walk you inside- gasp. 

You'll want your own space and your own freedoms, a heartbreaking reality for all parents. And so for now I'll soak up my current role as your hero, because there's nothing else I'd rather be. 

Happy 2nd birthday, Evans Elizabeth.  Thank the Lord for letting me be yours forever. You are so very loved.



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