WOW! You turned FIVE today. How five years have gone by I do not know. Some days it feels like 15 years, other days 5 minutes. All the while, time has gone by and you are a year older. No longer a toddler, but now a little girl. You keep saying you will just stay at five and don't need to get older or move out, or go to college. You want to stay here at home with Mama and Daddy. You say you won't get married, but that if you should one day, don't worry- it'll be to Daddy and we can all just share a room. You'll even help with dishes! Now of course I know that won't be the case. Each day your curiosity and awareness of the big world grows (just like your shoe size. How DO I keep up with your shoe size, girl. I should own stock in Keds at this point). I'm excited to see what this new year brings for you.
You'll be starting KINDERGARTEN this year! This year in your 4k class it's all about getting you "Kindergarten Ready". Kindergarten Ready? For me, all I can think is kindergarten- already? I know there are five candles on your birthday cake, I know that, but weren't there just a minute ago only 1 or 2?
How are we here?
What happened?
Kindergarten Ready.
I have to give credit to the teachers at your school, because you are definitely ready. You've learned how to identify all of your letters, you can write most of them now, and you've even started reading and spotting words! Incredible. You love to draw. You've memorized your birthday of course, which you've been asking about since back in July - is it December 13th yet?? You know your address, your parents' names, your numbers, and you now count up to 30. Wow. You are definitely ready, my girl.
Yet, I can't help but wonder... who is preparing the mamas for this big change? Who is making sure mama is ready to share you with the world? That mama is ready to give up playing hooky just because we feel like having a day at the park, or a late breakfast? That mama is prepared for the bus riding, and the car pooling, and the school projecting, and the home working, and all the things?
(And God, forbid, the bullying. I hope and pray everyday that you would have a kind heart towards others and others towards you).
Who makes sure Mama is Kindergarten Ready?
I don't have that answer. But, I'll tell you, I don't feel ready. In my mind I still see you as a baby in that swing, hollering your head off and not sleeping. Just wanting your mama. And isn't it funny to be longing for those days now? Those days I thought I'd never survive.
I asked you today if you wanted me to pick you up early so that we could have some one on one time and do something fun for your birthday. Your response- "no, I think I want to celebrate with my friends". I laughed, but at the same time I thought "and so it begins".
You really are growing up. Whether I'm ready, or not.
Love you always,
Mama.
