Friday, August 31, 2012

Annoying Work Habits

Thank God it's FRIDAY, because sometimes I cannot take the little pet peeves I've run into over the years  in corporate America.  We all have work pet peeves, and I've compiled a list of them.  If you are guilty of any of these annoying work habits, shame on you!

1. Speaker Phone

Speaker phone- greatest invention since sliced bread?  Yes, except to everyone else around you while in use.  Granted, I know there are times when it's absolutely necessary (a long conference call, several people listening in, meetings, etc.).  But, annoying Speaker Phone Guy uses it not out of necessity, but for want of human decency.  The office doesn't need to hear your personal phone calls, and we definitely don't need to hear the phone dialing and ringing off the hook.

2. Smacking Gum

Not a lot to be said here, just don't do this.  And don't pop your gum either.  Nails on chalkboard.

3. Loud Typing

This one actually doesn't bother me as bad as it does others, but it really perplexes me.  I've often wondered how Loud Typer Guy gets to those decibels.  They must wear heavy rings that weigh down their fingertips, right?  Or perhaps acrylic nails are heavier than they were when I donned them for high school prom.  Yes, the nails must be made of lead nowadays.  Only explanation for the booming rat-a-tat-tat produced by a measly10 fingers.

4. Microwave Related No-nos

I could spend ALL day here.  Exploded meals.  Fish reheats.  Thai.  Curry.  The I-take-20-minutes-to-cook-frozen-dinner.  Are you kidding me?

5. The Gunner

I must say, I do have a soft spot in my heart for the Overachieving Work Slave Guy.  It's adorable, isn't it?  Their swan dive into ambition is one for the books.  Always early, knows every answer about everything, and always volunteering... for everything.  God bless the gunners, and all of us who work with them.

6. Clipping Nails

I actually haven't had to encounter this one, but I've heard the horror stories.  Clipping your nails outside of the privacy of your own bathroom is actually a federal offense punishable by death.  Plus, I'm pretty sure it's the cause of rabies.

7. Heavy Breathing

Sometimes this person makes me want to ask if they are alright, or just needing some attention.  I've worked with about a handful at different places over the years, and it's interesting how many variations of heavy breathing are out there.  There's the Whistler who inhales deeply and exhales through the cracks of his teeth, creating a nice little 'ttssss' every few seconds.  There's Mega Grunter who exhales past what I can only gather to be nostril rocks.  There's Outta Breath who takes the breaths of a marathon runner.  And lastly, there's Coughing Guy.  In my experience, this is usually the one you want to give medical attention, as each exhale sounds like a smoker's lung.  (note- these are all men, I've never actually worked with Heavy Breather Girl, but these probably do exist.)

8. The Belcher

Ahh, yes.  Mr. Fizzy Lifting Drink Sampler Guy.   I've seen many of these over the years.  The best are those that follow each burp with a "Oh, WOW, excuse me."  Dude, I don't need that each time you burp, which to qualify for The Belcher category is more than 10 times in a work day.  Also, the hiccup burpers.  The Hiccurpers if you will.  Honestly, what horrible things are they eating and drinking to make so much air beg for escape?

I don't really want to know.

9. The Serial Socializer

If I'm in my office, door shut, eyeballs high in paperwork, it is probably not a good time to tell me about your daughter's school play.  Don't you love Serial Socializer that doesn't take a hint when to come back later? Haha.  Of all the annoyances in the office, this is probably the one I hear about more than anything else.  So-and-so won't leave me alone, so-and-so needs more work to do.  So-and-so is in my office again.  I feel all of your pain, I've dealt with the Too-Gossipy Gal, too.

10. The Self-proclaimed Martyr

For me, this one just takes the cake.  You know this type.  Usually the one that rolls the eyes when asked to do a job task (which is normally actually part of their employment function and skill set).  Usually the one to let out a loud huff (also could fall under the Heavy Breather category, double whammy!)  each time the office phone rings.  And, usually the one seeking praise and justification at each corner for his/her commitment to the job.  In that respect, I do agree with the Self-Proclaimed Martyr that we should all receive medals for showing up five days a week and doing our jobs.

Oh, work, and all the people you get to surround yourself with.  Ha!  Isn't it lovely?  :)  Have a great LONG weekend everyone!


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